"I'm beginning to perceive motherhood as a long, slow letting go,
of which birth is just the first step." - Sandra Steingraber, Having Faith
Yesterday Julia turned 6 months old. Yesterday we fed her her first solid food. Today is the spring equinox. Tomorrow Sergio starts his 6-month parental leave ... and tomorrow ... I go back to work. It is a weekend of transition for all of us.
baking cookies with baby
I am confident in my decision to return to work full time. Over the last 6 months I've wondered if I would be; I'm so pleased to discover that I am. There are things I'm looking forward to about going back to work. Even though it is hard to say good-bye to my maternity leave. Everything during my final week of leave felt sort of ceremonial. Wednesday I baked cookies all afternoon; Thursday we had a play date at the park (a play date for the mommies more than the babies); on Friday I dressed Julia in my favorite outfit of hers, we ran some of my favorite errands (3 grocery stores!), I had 2 cappuccinos and I only cried twice. These are all petty little things but since it was my last week of leave, they managed to take on greater meaning. (And - to clarify - it wasn't the cappuccinos that made me cry - it was Julia's smile.)
playing at the park
The things that I will miss during the day: Julia's many sweet expressions; her limitless and indiscriminate curiosity (Oh, is that your phone? Can I see it? Oh, is that your water bottle? Can I see it? Oh, is that your khun ma pad thai? Can I have some?); the way she gums everything, even if it tastes weird or is uncomfortable (the rough side of the velcro strap or a piece of paper); and - of course - nursing. I will so look forward to savoring all of these things when I come home every night.
breakfast with Daddy
And during the day I will savor the knowledge that she's in good hands with her dad.