10 December 2014

Not Destroying Your Marriage (AKA: Fixed It!)

Oops!! It would appear the folks at FamilyShare.com accidentally posted an article from 1950. Don't worry. I fixed it!

Here's my rewrite for the modern day, using Family Share's original headers and a few choice excerpts from the ghastly original. (Which you can read here: http://familyshare.com/…/5-ways-you-are-unknowingly-destroy… )

5 Things to Avoid in Order to Have a Healthy Romantic Partnership
(Caveat: you are probably not destroying your marriage and this list actually DOES work for women and men.)

1. Living outside of what you can afford.
AKA: "your husband's means."
Don't spend more money than you make. Also don't name your budget after the breadwinner (if you have one of those). Make a budget together and call it "our" budget and "our" means.

2. Constant negativity
AKA "A good man wants you to be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy."
If at all possible, find a partner who is mentally sound enough to manage his or her own happiness. So that his or her happiness is not YOUR responsibility. Then look for ways to share both the ups and the downs in your lives with one another, helping to lift one another up and be your best self through the good and the bad.
Also: don't listen to anything that says "a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy" because that's just someone telling you that a man's happiness is more important than a woman's.

3. Putting everything else first.
AKA "Put your husband first."
It is good to prioritize. Also, you might want to consider taking care of yourself first before you can tend to anyone or anything else. Like putting your oxygen mask on first on the airplane before you help your kids with their masks.

4. Withholding Physical Affection
AKA "It's worth it to give in."
No means no.

5. Not speaking his language
AKA "Don't waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand."
Establish open and honest communication. Actually, this point was fine on the original Family Share post if you just take out the first 8 sentences where it talks about DNA and makes women sound manipulative and men sound simpleminded. (By the way, what's actually in our DNA is adenine, guanine, cytosine, and thymine.)