The Week of the Sibling Discount

This was Clara's first week at Julia's daycare/school. But it was also Julia's last week there before starting a new school on Monday. So I celebrated the one week of them attending the same school (and the one week of the sibling discount!) by dressing them in matching clothes each day this week.

I use the term "matching" very loosely because I'm really limited in this regard. For one thing, I don't buy them matching clothes (because I shop a lot of thrift stores and consignment sales). Another challenge is that Julia is a toddler and has very firm opinions on what she wants to wear. Fortunately she likes to match with Clara.

Monday: "chomper" shirts (that is, shirts with aggressive,
teeth-baring animals) and polka dot pants.

Tuesday: a true match! Frog shirts with button fireflies,
a gift from Honey.

Wednesday: tie-dye shirts from Honey (that don't match
but are both tie dye shirts and are both gifts from Honey.)

Thursday: Another true match!
Beats for Beckham shirts in support
of their sweet cousin Beckham.

Friday: another stretch - it was the end of the week, but I
found shirts and pants that were all stripes!
Never mind the mismatched colors. 

Julia's 2nd Birthday

Julia turned 2 last Wednesday! The night before her birthday we said, "Julia, do you know what tomorrow is?" And she replied, "Juia's burday!" When we went in to get her on the morning of she immediately said, "It my burday!" She was thrilled and talked about her birthday for days. 

Julia - 2 yrs on Sept 19; Clara - 1 mo on Sept 17

We went low key for this year's party. So low key, especially compared to last year's when we had a theme and a ton of food and oodles of decorations and we invited everyone we knew. Last year we didn't have a newborn, of course. 

3 balloons, 24 pictures, some gifts

So when we were "planning" (by which I mean scrambling at the last minute because we had been too overwhelmed to "plan"), we decided to focus just on what Julia would love most, leaving out all the extraneous stuff that parents do that often goes unnoticed by the child. We knew she'd love her cousins and her aunt and uncles, and we figured she'd go for some cake. I bought balloons (for the kids) and put up Julia's monthly milestone pictures (for the adults); she opened presents, played with her cousins, ate some cake, and was on cloud 9 the whole time.

 Whole Wheat Applesauce Cake with Caramel Glaze and a big 2 on top

"wed nitten" (red kitchen)

Our big gift to her was this fantastic red kitchen that we stayed up until 1 AM assembling the night before. Wish I could have captured the look of pure delight on her face when she saw it.

My new theory: it's not a party without balloons! 

All that was on Wednesday night, on her actual birthday, but we didn't stop there. With a visit from Honey, Papa, Ling and Minli on the horizon, we decided to have a second party on Saturday so they could celebrate with us - this one at the park and also super simple. More balloons this time, some snacks, a playground, more cousins to play with, and incredible weather. Julia had a blast.

Clara at the park with Honey

And I had so much fun that I nearly felt like it was my own birthday. I enjoy Julia every single minute of every single day and most of the time I just can't believe how awesome she is.

Julia Minerva: 27.2 lbs and 33 inches of awesome 

I'm so glad she had a happy Birthday.

My Second Birth Story

On August 17 at 5:24 PM, I delivered an 8-pound, 2-ounce baby girl: Clara Sofia.

Clara Sofia

It seems like I had to wait a really long time for Clara. I didn't; she was only 4 days late and still within my due "week" (rather than due date). But I had been so weary with the pregnancy (more accurately, the sciatica) and so worried that this baby would be problematically late, that I had grown impatient. I was ready to have that "Baby C," as we had been calling it, and I was pretty confident that Baby C was ready to be had. The baby was so low that it had felt for a couple of weeks like I'd been carrying around a bocce ball between my thighs. I was tired.

I think it didn't help any that my first baby had been one week early, so even though I tried not to have any expectations, I think I subconsciously did. My due date was a Monday and all week long after I'd missed that date, I'd been researching natural induction methods. On Thursday afternoon, the midwife told me not to worry about doing anything extreme until the following week; even so I was still thinking of how to induce labor Thursday night. So that when I went down to the basement to clean Julia's crayon markings off the wall, I joked that if scrubbing crayon off basement walls were an induction method I'd have hit the jackpot.

And so, perhaps, I did hit the jackpot. The next morning I woke up around 7:30 with some funny feelings. For about a week I'd been feeling what I was describing as Braxton Hicks contractions but on the inside; my Braxton Hicks contractions had always felt like they were on the outside, on my belly - but these new ones were deep inside. Turns out these were prodromal labor and come Friday morning, the real labor was hitting pretty hard and pretty fast.

But I was in denial that it was real labor. I wanted it to be, but I didn't want to get my hopes up that I was actually - finally! - going to have this baby! So I tried to be "realistic" and went about getting ready for work. I showered and tried to get dressed, but couldn't even do that. Before I knew it I was calling my parents and texting my co-workers, and curling up on the bed to ride out each contraction and wondering how long will it take this time? Sergio took Julia to school and came right back home; he called the midwife, drew me a bath, downloaded a contraction-tracking application on my phone, and started tracking. We were surprised to find that the contractions were coming so quickly. I was surprised at how intense they were so soon. Nothing like the long stretch of "easy" contractions that I had with Julia. For this one I skipped ahead to the hard stuff right away.

I ended up laboring at home for only about 3 hours, which, when viewed through my frame of reference of a 28-hour labor the first time, seemed like only 5 minutes. We packed up and went to the hospital at around 11:00 am. All I could think about was how bright it was outside - how painfully bright it was - and how if this baby turns out to be Clara, how appropriate that she be born on such a clear, bright day. That was and is a charming notion, but truth be told, it was that brightness that really threw me off for the rest of the day.

And here is where the comparisons begin (I promise, Julia and Clara, we won't always be comparing you to each other like this!): when I went to the hospital with Julia, it was dark and stormy and late at night and I'd already been laboring so long (15 hours) and we had to enter through the ER entrance at the back of the hospital and not many people were there ...  but with Clara, when I went to the hospital it was bright and clear and lovely and everything was happening fast and I'd hardly been in labor at all (3 hours) and we went in through the hustling, bustling front door and there were so many people everywhere. With Julia I spent so much time in labor, and it was so dark and dim in that room in the middle of the night, that I went into a trance without even trying (very helpful for pain management in natural childbirth!); with Clara, labor progressed so quickly and the room was so bright with all that sunlight managing to push through the drawn curtains that I never got deep enough and never fully made it to "Planet Birth."

So this meant I was way more "with it" than I had expected to be. And my brain went into overdrive instead of going into autopilot like it had with Julia. I tried to focus on what I needed to do but tried also to distract myself from the pain. I hung out in the big jacuzzi tub for a while, but couldn't get comfortable because of baby's little bocce ball head sitting so low. I hung out in the shower with lots of warm water pouring on me while I sat on the exercise ball and rolled around through each contraction. I danced and squatted around the room per the midwife's instructions, trying to get Baby C to move its head a little; the baby had its hand underneath its chin which was tilting its head at the wrong angle and we couldn't proceed until it had sorted itself out.

Sergio was right beside me for every contraction, and whereas with my first labor I was eventually so far gone that I didn't know who was in the room or who was holding my hand, with this labor I was far more aware of my surroundings and was highly dependent on Sergio. He helped me breathe properly, he encouraged me with a quote from a card we'd seen at the midwive's office - "the contractions can't be stronger than you because they are you" - he reminded me that each contraction brought us closer to meeting our mystery Baby C and to smelling that sweet new born smell and to finding out if it's a boy or a girl, he told me that each contraction was working, that it was progress, and eventually when I just kept saying "no, no, no, no, no" he'd help me to embrace each contraction by reminding me to say "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes" instead. I truly could not have had this baby without his help.

After almost 10 hours of labor, it was time to push - although if you'd asked me it had been time to push since morning. Since this baby and its little bocce ball head had been so low, I had been wanting to push all day. (This is another totally different experience than Julia's labor, when I never once felt the urge to push.) I only had to push a few times this time - I think it was 3 - before Baby C made its debut and Sergio called out, "We have a Clara!" and I moaned my ridiculous "just-gave-birth" moan (the same strange noise I made the moment I first saw Julia). They hoisted Baby C up onto my chest. She sneezed, she cried; I wailed, Sergio beamed - and everything was perfect.

"We have a Clara!"

my little burrito baby with a bocce ball head

I had been so anxious to have this baby on or before its due date, but I was actually really happy with her arrival date - August 17, 2012 is my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. And thanks to Clara's unfavorable head tilt, the labor was delayed long enough that my parents had time to arrive from OKC. Both of my parents and Sergio's mom - who had traveled from Mexico only two days before - were all three there when Clara made her entrance. I couldn't have articulated this at the time, but I was so glad that I went into labor "late" enough and that my labor lasted long enough that they could all be there.

And this trio of grandparents were so helpful in the days following Clara's birth: taking care of Julia, taking care of Clara so Sergio and I - zombies from sleep deprivation - could catch a few zs, preparing us food, cleaning our floors, doing small projects around the house. My mother cooked all my CSA vegetables for me, bought me just the right new clothes, even gave me a pedicure. I can't begin to express my gratitude.

Clara and I were released from the hospital in no time at all, which was also a totally different experience than when I had Julia. With Julia, I chose to stay at the hospital with her until she was released from the NICU five days after birth. And the day we left was a clear, bright, beautiful Friday morning - a stark contrast to the dark, rainy Saturday night we'd had when we entered the hospital earlier in the week. With Clara there was no NICU stay, she and I were both fit as fiddles, so they released us both the day after she was born. Which means we entered the hospital on a clear, bright, beautiful Friday morning and left the hospital late on a dark, rainy Saturday night.

We continue to marvel at how different the two girls look, in the same way that the two births were so different. When Julia was born her skin tone was pale and she had (and has) crystal clear blue eyes and hardly any hair at all and what little was there was very light brown and now that it's grown in her hair is all curly. But then Clara - Clara's skin tone is darker and she even has those purple spots on her lower back and she has glossy black/brown eyes and a full head of long black hair that's straight as a board. They are so distinctly different and unique and it will be so fun to see how their little personalities develop, too.

Julia holding Baby C for the first time

Julia has taken so well to her new baby sister. We continue to call Clara "Baby C" to help Julia with the transition (since that's what all three of us called the baby in utero), but Julia has already started calling her Clara - or rather "Baby Dara." She is interested in her and asks about her always and runs to see her and kiss her and hug her when she comes home from school. She offers to help change diapers and to wipe. And though Julia is too young to actually execute many of the tasks she offers to help with, we are just so delighted that she's interested. She is going to be a good big sister; I can tell already.

It has now been three weeks since Clara's long-awaited birth and even as she still feels so little and new, it also feels like she was always here. Maybe that's just my way of interpreting the "meant to be" feeling. It's amazing how quickly that feeling takes hold. Not three weeks but three minutes - dare I say three seconds? - after her birth I felt like she was always a Clara and she was always ours and she was always meant to be. I feel like we're a complete set now. I can't imagine it any other way.

all here

The Last Week

This is our last week in our apartment. Tomorrow we close on our new house; this weekend we move. Everything is so surreal at this stage. I'm so excited about the house and so ready to leave the apartment; or I'm so sad about leaving this apartment and I'm so nervous about the house. It's a roller coaster in my heart. 


How strange this whole house hunting process has been - like dating I think, but now that we have bought the house it feels more like an arranged marriage or perhaps a rushed marriage. Deep down you believe that this is the one but you still have to admit to yourself that the actual house itself may not live up to the version of the house in your head. And like a lover you may have turned a blind eye now to things you'll come to hate later and you've over emphasized the things you love now. There will be a reality you can't entirely predict. But hey, every good relationship takes hard work, right? And is totally worth it in the end.


And so it's happening. Our home is at last being dismantled - piles of our belongings ready to pack or already packed away in the big corner stash of our hodgepodge, mismatched moving boxes. Things are in upheaval though some normalcy continues. I picked up our CSA share yesterday and came home wanting to eat a tomato - the first of the season! So I absentmindedly open the big drawer to absentmindedly grab the tomato knife from the place where it always is and - oops! That big drawer is totally empty. The tomato knife is deep in the boxes somewhere. 


Dismantling is weird, even if it's only to rebuild it a day or week later in a new but familiar place, a part of town that you know or that you think you know, just like you thought you knew this part of town when you moved in here 7 years ago.


And packing is slow - so slow. Now only does it take a long time because there is always more stuff than I think and because, in my case, gestational sciatica limits my stamina. But on top of all that, I am prone to fits of nostalgia, so I can't just pack. I have to ponder my memories while I pack them away. As if moving weren't emotional enough already.

I have summoned my best powers of organization for this move. Even so I think we'll be the people the movers complain about - too many boxes with too many books (heavy!) or weak second-hand boxes with compromised integrity stuffed with things marked fragile (note the extra duct tape at the bottom of the box pile in the above pic). And I've ended up with funny labels "pictures and pillows" or "hangers and a shoe." So far just one "mystery box" - something Sergio taped up before I could label it and now it's anyone's guess what is in there. 


So this is the last week - the last week of watching cars drive by from our high rise window, looking at the picture perfect church across the street. The last week of our tiny, intimate and contained apartment. The last week of Julia saying "Bye, Craig" every morning and "Hi, Kathleen!" in the evening when we pass the concierge desk in the lobby.  


On the other hand, there's Julia who, despite my assertions to the contrary, thinks that packing is fun. And who keeps saying "Minee?" (our realtor's name) "New house?" Not sure she quite understands what's happening here. Perhaps none of us fully do.

PS: Not to worry: Julia will be riding to the new house in a car seat - not a moving box. 

Julia 20 months

Our fuzzy-headed, super sweet, very chatty (mostly intelligible) Julia at 20 months. 

 Absolutely delightful.

Julia 19 months

Julia at 19 months with special guest, Papa! 

Pre Christmas in Kansas City

I am proud to report that I got my Christmas "tree" up early this year - the weekend after Thanksgiving! I have been enjoying it so much. Of course, it's not a tree - it's a garland. I decided that this year I didn't have the energy to fight "Scroogio" (who, by the way, has been replaced by a non-Christmas-hating Sergio this year!) over it and to have to make my case for why the Christmas tree is worth all the trouble. I just didn't have it in me this year. Not to mention - a tree would have been the perfect height for Julia to get into and I like to get those native, invasive Eastern Red Cedars that are prickly and I can only imagine what kind of trouble Julia would have gotten into with that. 

garland and three tiny stockings - one for each of us

So I went with our trusty old back up garland. And even though it's artificial and even though it's not a tree, I love it. 

new ornament this year - Julia's hand print cut out and decorated like Santa (from Nina's school party)

With all my cards sent and my gifts purchased, wrapped and shipped, I was ready, this week, to do some long awaited holiday baking. I have yet to figure out why the winter (even a mild winter like what we're having) makes me feel like baking. But it does. So I hunkered down in the kitchen a couple of nights this week and baked two kinds of cookies - Nutmeg Maple Butter Cookies (from Smitten Kitchen), which turned out to be fantastic; and Gingerbread Folk (as I like to call them, since "Gingerbread Men" is so limiting). We bundled these up and distributed them to co-workers and to the concierge staff at our building. Oh, and we kept a few for ourselves. They were all delicious and well worth the hours of rolling and cutting out. 

I make sure my icing is super messy, that way people who receive my cookies know without a doubt that they are home made and not store bought. 

Now, it feels like the night before Christmas because we leave for Mexico tomorrow. The bags are packed; we have wrapped up our Christmas in Kansas City just in time to fly out for the next, big Christmases. (One in Mexico; one in Oklahoma.)

And since my garland is artificial, I'm leaving up until I get home. No reason not to enjoy it a few days into the new year. 

"Frosted Ginger Cut Outs" (or "Gingerbread Folk")

COOKIES

1 cup shortening or butter

1 cup molasses

3 cups all purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ginger

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon cloves

In large bowl, combine shortening and molasses; blend well. Add flour and remaining cookie ingredients to molasses mixture; mis well. Cover with plastic wrap; refrigerate at least 2 hours for easier handling. 

Heat oven to 350 degrees F. On well-floured surface, roll dough to 1/4 inch thickness; cut with floured cookie cutter. Place 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes or until set. Cool completely. 

FROSTING (Emily's Easy Icing)

a lot of powdered sugar

a little milk

To make the icing, mix a tiny bit of milk with a whole lot of powdered sugar. You just have to eye ball it until you get the consistency you want - whatever you need to ooze appropriately from your piping bag without pouring out and without getting stuck. You be the judge. 

VARIATIONS

GINGERBREAD MEN (or WOMEN!): Roll dough 1/4-inch thick for soft cookies or 1/8 inch thick for crisp cookies. Cut dough with floured gingerbread person cookie cutter. Bake as directed above. To decorate, pipe frosting on cooled cookies. 

(My recommendations on the Gingerbread People - go with 1/4 inch thickness to achieve a softer cookie, and shoot for the shorter end of the 8-10 minute baking time suggestion.)

Thanksgiving and The Flu. And Pink Eye.

Thanksgiving really is my favorite holiday. Such a simple premise - gratitude! - yet one so difficult to master throughout the rest of the year. I love a day meant to emphasize it. (And I love that we do so with food, although, this year, I didn't have the extra hands to snap photos of my Fair Share Farm vegetables or my delicious Badseed goods or that fennel and leek au gratin dish I made two years ago which is ugly in photos anyway, but that was just as tasty as I remembered it being).

Christy and her family used their hand prints for this adorable toilet paper roll pilgrim turkey

This year I geared up for Thanksgiving by watching a couple of holiday-themed shows on the Food Network at my parents house the week before. On those shows, chefs with poise and fervor made masterpieces in record time and wowed judges with their ability to be both innovative and traditional. Fast forward a week and my own version is a little more crazed. I spent Thanksgiving day in my kitchen making a pie completely from scratch (having never done so before!) as well as making ALL the vegetables for our meal (beets, potatoes, fennel, chard, salad). Sergio spent the day getting the flu. Which left him less able to help out than I had expected. Which left me performing the gymnastic stunts required to accommodate a 14 month old underfoot who is busying herself with pots and pans on the floor near her mama while her daddy fever-sleeps unexpectedly in the next room. How come they never show that on the Food Network?

"Primitos de Rayas" - Nina the witch princess (with striped leggings), Emilio the pirate, and Julia the coincidentally, impromptu pirate. Costumes at Thanksgiving: a new tradition? 

Poor Sergio. He made it through our decidedly delicious meal at Christy and Armando's that night; we all had a great time, even him with his fever. The next morning he went to urgent care and came home with a flu diagnosis and something to help with the pain. Then he slept for the next 48 hours. He missed the "recalentado" at Christy's on Friday (it's worth it to spend so much time in the kitchen cooking if the food you make lasts two days!), he missed the lighting of the mayor's Christmas tree at Crown Center, and he was about to miss small business Saturday when, late in the day, he mustered enough strength to go out and buy a few records. Then he came and slept for another day.

Julia and Mommy, missing Daddy, at the Mayor's Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony

By Sunday night he was starting to come out of it. And I was just showing my first signs. I was lucky though. The flu that knocked him flat on his back and sent him down for the count, just sent me stumbling. I was feverish and very tired, but all in all it only lasted a couple of days. (His lasted 5.) I was brazenly bidding the defeated flu "good-bye" and "good riddance" on Tuesday night - perhaps too brazenly, reveling in my victory. Because I woke up Wednesday morning with flu-induced pink eye. Spoke too soon I guess.

We are finally - just today - feeling like we're getting back to normal (although I won't really feel "normal" until my eye clears up and I can put my contacts back in). We're both back at work and we're going about our business and even though it felt like a big wallop, us both being sick like that, it occurs to me that a couple of cases of flu and a spot of conjunctivitis are actually wonderful problems to have in the grand scheme of things. And what's more? Julia has managed to avoid it all (knock on wood).

a happy Thanksgiving indeed

We are fully aware of how fortunate we are and I for one feel very, very grateful.

14 months

She's walking now! Took her first tentative steps about a month ago but is full on walking now. This girl can't be stopped! Not even long enough to take a milestone picture. She's the greatest. 

Halloween + Ana's Visit

Last year when I was still pregnant, I decided that I wanted to get my baby a garlic costume for Halloween. It turns out nobody makes garlic costumes for babies (which surprised me, but seems to surprise no one else). I didn't have the gumption to make one last year what with my five-week-old baby who just slept through all the festivities anyway. But this year I did and - despite being knocked out of commission for a while by sickness - I finally made my garlic costume dream come true.

Our Lil Stinker

Why garlic, you ask? I have no idea. I just really, really like it. And I wanted to call her "Our Lil Stinker." Turns out the jokes, etc., are half the fun of the garlic costume - "garlic makes everything better," said one co-worker. "If you have a couple more kids you could get a good marinara sauce going," said another. "Bet she scared off the kid dressed as Edward Cullen," said another. And my dad said, "Never has un ajo looked so muy, muy dulce." So true.

elder primos + Nina

On top of the fun of Halloween, we also enjoyed a visit from Sergio's cousin Ana, from California. We all spent a wonderful weekend together at a pumpkin patch and at the Nelson-Atkins museum, where we enjoyed a beautiful Dia de los Muertos exhibit and some gorgeous weather in the sculpture park.

the younger primos

our lil punkin

And of course, no Halloween would be complete without the right kind of food! Christy made Calabaza en Tacha (second year in a row - perhaps this will be our tradition?) which I did not photograph this year, but which I thoroughly enjoyed. And I went to a caramel-apple making party at work. (Halloween at Hallmark is so much fun.)

my caramel apple with the caramel still hot

On the big night, Nina and Emilio (and their parents) came over to do some trick or treating in our apartment building. Julia trick or treated, too, even though she doesn't understand that candy is edible. (She seemed to think it was all just a bunch of wrinkly, rattly toys.) The primitos mostly just enjoyed a night of running around and squealing with delight at one another while the mommies and daddies ate green tomato chutney and cheese and drank wine.

It was a very happy Halloween.

fairy godmother, garlic, and dinosaur

13 months

13 months old • roughly 19 pounds • totally awesome in every way

Oh, and very friendly - she waves at perfect strangers in the parking lot and on the elevator. It's the cutest.

Julia's First Birthday

Well, Monday morning I was going to post on Facebook at 8:00 am that it was one year ago at that very moment that we finally met this incredible tiny human being that we'd so anxiously awaited - that it was one year ago at that very moment that our baby made her entrance into this world.

But instead, at 8:00 Monday morning, I was lumbering out the door, exhausted after a restless, sleepless night, with our fever hot birthday baby in tow. She whimpered all the way to the pediatrician. Her first ear infection on her first birthday. Not a way good way to start the day. We were so sad. On top of all that, the sky was strangely overcast - clouds so thick and low that we couldn't even see the new Kauffman Center or the the old convention center or half the buildings downtown as we drove to the doctors office. We met with the doctor (after friendly Julia waved at all the other pajama-clad, sick kids in the waiting room). 1 teaspoon of bubble gum flavored amoxicillin and 1.2 ml of acetaminophen later and Julia was on the mend. Suddenly the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day and we realized, it just might be a nice birthday after all.

So we stopped for a big breakfast and then went home for a big nap, after which we all three felt much restored and ready to take on the big birthday with aplomb. Sergio and I spent the day marveling at how exquisite Julia is - how charmingly she eats - how cleverly she learns - how delightfully she laughs - how sweetly she grins - how earnestly she investigates - how eagerly she grabs - how amazingly she grows.

But the truth is, this is how we spend every day - birthday or non-birthday. She has captivated us so fully; she has fundamentally changed us at the core with her absolute pureness and wonder. And she has no idea.

It's true - I can't believe it's been a year. But then again, she has grown so much - so maybe I can believe it's been a year. And then in many weird ways, I feel like she's been here more than a year, that she was always here, somewhere, waiting in the wings. That she was meant to be. And now she has hit the stage and become our star. And that ... well, I think she does know that.

Indeed. I love this little girl more than I can possibly convey. Happy Birthday, Julia.

Julia's First Birthday Party

This is the post about the party. Perhaps tomorrow I will write the post about how utterly delightful Julia is and how fantastic my role as her mommy is and how much I have loved the last year. But for now ... pictures.

We chose a rainbow theme for her party; but of course the real bright ray of sunshine - especially on a rainy, overcast day, was Julia herself.

Julia's tia Christy made a perfect piñata for the party. And, carrying on the birthday tradition from my Mema's house, we brought out the extra special red plate.

Pom poms, courtesy of Lindsey, Christy, Minli, and Tyler.

Zig-zag streamers, with help from Ling.

Fruit plate.

Veggie plate - with blue potatoes! But I can't believe no one told me my orange and yellow were switched.

Happy!